The Vessel Run Is Kind of Fun, Unfortunately

It’s 7:03 a.m., and I am trying to stretch my hamstrings at Hudson Yards. Joining me in my warm-up are about 20 other people, all wearing status-y athleisure, who also woke up before sunrise to run up and down Thomas Heatherwick’s much-maligned Vessel. The first of these runs started a month ago as a collaboration between Equinox and Related Properties, the firm behind Hudson Yards. It’s offered three times a week, but the Tuesday-morning runs are reserved for Equinox members, which means that everyone except me on this particular morning is paying at least $405 a month to participate in what I can only describe as an elaborate humiliation ritual.

People started arriving at 6:45 a.m. I sign a…